I'm back!

Well,I've been away doing various things from campaigning on students' rights to interviewing "Fiddy". Happy new year to everyone and I do hope that you achieve all that you propose.
Another year, my heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have
taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12
months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and
wealthy.
Extra thanks for the ones that I have to open 15 times to get to the
message.
Special thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on
envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to
seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.
I no longer drink Pepsi, or Dr Pepper, since the people who make these
products are atheists who won't put "Under God" on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer- causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from, nor send packages by UPS, or Fed Ex,
since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone, because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica,
Uganda,Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC, because their "chickens" are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive
my free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Nieman Marcus, since I
now have their recipe.
I no longer worry about my soul, because at last count I have 363,214
angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes.
I no longer have any savings, because I gave it to a sick girl who is
about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time) I no longer have
any money at all - but that will change once I receive the $15,000
that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special
email program.
Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now
return the favor!
If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on
your head at 5:00 PM (EDT) this afternoon. I know
this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of mine's next
door neighbor's ex- mother- in- law's second husband's cousin's
beautician.

~fowarded to vik {author unknown}

...what kids say about the bible:

* In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the
world, so he took the Sabbath off.

* Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

* Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

* Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.

* Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

* The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with
the unsympathetic Genitals.

* Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel
like Delilah.

* Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread
which is bread without any ingredients.

* The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses
went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

* The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

* Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the
hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

* The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand
still and he obeyed him. my favorite!

* David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. he fought with the
Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

* Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

* When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus,
she sang the Magna Carta.

* When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in
the manager.

* Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

* Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before
they do one to you. He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."

* It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the
tombstone off the entrance.

* The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

* One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

* St. Paul cavorted to Christianity.
He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

* Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

Temptations...

We often use words we can't fully define.
What is temptation? Is it the same as compromise?
Is it wrong to be tempted? Does it make you less of a believer?
Everyone is tempted to do or try something they shouldnt.
The question is, if you are tempted, how far will you go?
Would you be able to resist or will you find yourself weakening?
I guess it all depends on the individual and what one is tempted to do,
the severity of the act and of course, the consequences involved.
Take a moment to think...have you ever been tempted?
Let the stories begin:(share them)

To the faint hearted...

The picture says it all

...the day after

...the day after the long (bank holiday) weekend.
Back at work. So much to do. Deadlines to meet.
People to convict...er..sorry convince.

Phinking what I'm phinking?
I've been thinking about alot of things lately.
My life. My hopes, dreams, aspirations...my friends.
Talking about the later, how do you keep( or even make)
them a busy risky crazy world?





And by the side?
Ever wondered who the greatest financier was in the Bible?
I do. Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.

Questioning everything?...

Michael wrote me:
'You mean he wasn't really wearing a bulky winter coat at time of murder?
That he didn't really vault over the ticket barriers at Stockwell station?
That the plain clothes police did not identify themselves while
ordering him to stop?
That there was only one surveillance officer watching the entire block
of flats apparently occupied by the "terrorists"?
"SensitiveDocuments" show Jean Charles de Menezes' murder was a very
expensive error.
It is now shown that he was as innocent as either of us.
It also seems Jean Charles de Menezes was not a terrorist after all.
Not exactly what the worlds media (Reuters,CNN,
BBC,
etc) was reporting at the time.'

Situations like this leave me speechless. Of course, I can take this opportunity to write, about police brutality, especially thosed experienced by black men in incarceration.Like the advert for the film, Injustice - the one the Met managed to block, these men were:
'LOVED BY THEIR FAMILIES,
DIED IN POLICE CUSTODY,
BETRAYED BY THE STATE'. But I won't.


Work?
...same story,I love it....

BIG BROTHA...

Big Brotha!
It's the final of Big brother 6 , described in the broadsheets as the 'only space in Britain genuinely unaffected by the 7 July bombings'. Although, I was impressed with Makosi's hair - the previous one tho(can't believe it was a fake) and amused by Eugene's brain, I can't help but mention how appalled I was by self-obsession and indifference exhibited alongside humiliating drunken public masturbation.
I'm a bit worried about columnists and Politicians talking about the "British way of life". Please help me here. What is British? What is our way of life? How can we talk about values? Is that not a contradiction? Do I sound cynical? Please...
Who wins? Who deserves it? Definitely not Kinga...please!!
Who do I want to see win? To be honest, I DON'T CARE.


And by the side:
Had a fight between me and myself. Guess who won? Find out here http://googlefight.com

...conversations from the lips of kids

A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
****************************************************
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the his voice, he answered, "It's Adam's Suit!"
**************************************************
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mic, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mic cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.
After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered,"If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
*************************************************
Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."